yes anon, my daughter will absolutely not know who her father is regardless of the fact that she already calls me daddy.

@doctorpcircus he immediately dropped his bag of candy, climbed into the chair and ripped his shoes off. well alright.

Wednesday
30.10.13 at 5:27

via: chillsmybones
credit: chillsmybones
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chillsmybones:

i’m never going to forgive you. you left me all alone, babe. how could you. YOU KNOW I’M PRONE TO ACCIDENTS.

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Oh piss off, babe. I didn’t expect you to go doing bloody cartwheels off mattresses for christs sake.

violetthepositive:

Dude, when you find out, let me know. Like three people are trying to make me “base dance” and I don’t fucking know what’s going. I just woke up.

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… You poor, poor girl. Have you tried throwing tea bags at them while singing British classics to scare them away?

Wednesday
30.10.13 at 5:17

via: triiplecat
credit: energyinside
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triiplecat:

You’re not very based, babe. It’s always too early for you, go back to bed under your rock.

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—I don’t think I’m supposed to show up on the pH scale, love.

Wednesday
30.10.13 at 5:12

via: kiarascircus
credit: energyinside
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kiarascircus:

If you find out, let me know? Everyone’s confusing me with their lack of english speaking and I have a headache. 

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The last time I tried to understand what everyone was bloody saying, I just ended up getting a headache so I’m just—going to not even try to figure this out honestly. Let’s just… have a nice, proper English conversation over a nice proper cup of English tea.

Wednesday
30.10.13 at 4:59

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What the piss is everyone talking about…? It’s too early for this.

Best part of being a dad: dressing your children in embarrassing but cute Halloween costumes.

doppeltsehen:

…. So you are saying to me that you will not turn the air conditioning on because it’s October.. Old man, mein gott. 

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Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying, boy. I swear I’m gonna drag you boys to grandmum and granddad’s just to show you I’m nowhere near as bad as they are.

theme.